The Readers Write...

It’s summertime, and the living is easy – for me at least. For this edition of the Church for Men newsletter, I’m putting you, my readers, to work. I’ve combed the e-mail you’ve sent since June 1, and I’m basing this newsletter on the comments and questions you’ve sent to me.

Let’s start with a letter from Frank in Australia:

I have just finished reading, and re-reading your book Why Men Hate Going to Church for the umpteenth time!

My church here in Australia has a fair mix of genders in its pews at the moment but most of the men are, as you say, just warming the pews. We are a newly established "branch" of a well-appointed and large church in Melbourne. The church planting pastor does not see the need to establish his church on strong men and when it has been brought up at meetings his (much stronger) wife has belittled and denigrated the idea. Apparently, to her, all men’s ministries are aimed at sitting around a campfire naked and grunting!!!

My question to you: is there an established part of your organisation that can help myself and about 5 other men, interested in establishing such a church for men, outside of the established "branded" churches that exist now?

What resources would be available to you in Alaska or (preferably) in Australia that could help establish such a church? We currently have six dedicated men, three of who run a home based Bible study group that is going through the Wild at Heart material at present.

Dear Frank:

My organization is in its infancy right now. It’s not even three months old. As such, I don’t yet have any templates or models of church that are truly working that well for men (other than the Powerhouse model I mention in the book). So it’s going to require you to go back to the source: the Bible.

I’d encourage you to re-read the gospels, looking not so much at Jesus’ words, but his actions. Look at how he led his disciples. See how he inspired loyalty. Once you grasp this, begin meeting with your 5 or 6 guys intentionally for a year – and lead them as Jesus did. It sounds to me like you already have your vision: to establish a church designed from the ground up to reach men and boys. As far as I know, it would be the first one of its kind in Australia. Take your vision to God and see what he begins to do.

I’m currently working with a pastor in Illinois who is designing America’s first congregation that will publicly proclaim itself a church for men. I will be studying this congregation as a test case and will be writing about it in future newsletters.

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John from Ohio writes:

We are an Evangelical Lutheran Church, with a Men's Ministry that has been sleeping for years. I joined the church about 18 months ago and was called last September to co-lead the group.  I had the ushers count the proportion of men at the services the last two week. We had 39% the first week and then 36% this weekend.  We average about 85 men at the services, but only about 20 are involved in Men's Ministry or Bible studies.  I'll be praying for God to show me the way to bring the Adventure back into our men and all men.

Dear John:

I feel for you. I’ve attended my share of sleepy mainline churches. And I know it’s very hard to start and maintain a men’s ministry. But don’t lose hope! There are churches in America that are doing a great job reaching men. Maybe your congregation can learn from their example. Listen to what Jennifer from Wisconsin has to say about her congregation:

I have a husband, three boys (ages 17, 13 and 12) and a daughter (16) and we LOVE our church. But this wasn’t always the case. Before we found this church the guys would complain about going. I was feeling the guilt and sadness of possibly losing them for good.

I have a risk-taking son who is an introvert. But the first week we visited our new church he was sold. They have a gym where they start out every Sunday with dodge ball or some other sweaty activity. (I am sure you can imagine the joy my son gets from doing these things.) They tie into this game the gospel as well as life lessons to take home with them every week.

The sermons are also great for men. One Sunday the senior pastor rappelled from the ceiling of the church dressed in black to introduce his new sermon series "Mission Impossible". They also produced a video of him dropping out of an airplane and landing on the roof of our church. You can imagine how much we all laughed and how that has impacted my 17-year-old son. He now invites his friends to church from our public high school.

Every month is a new sermon series. One was called Toxic Faith. They brought a lot of cool grimy things guys like and have preached in a way that brings it all together for men. We find ourselves convicted every week. These are the words of my men.

I am so grateful for a church that reaches out to men. I am excited that for a whole year I have not heard one complaint about going to church!

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Some of you may be in shock: does my pastor have to rappel from the ceiling to reach men? Others might be indignant: that pastor is turning the worship of God into a carnival. Let me gently remind you: the Pharisees had a similar reaction to the unorthodox methods of Jesus.

When we stand before God, we will not be judged on how dignified our worship services were. The real bottom line will be: did we obey Christ’s command to make disciples? It’s clear that we must be wiling to think outside our traditional religious boxes if we’re going to reach men and boys.

If you’ve got a question or a story to share, please drop me an e-mail at admin@churchformen.com. I read all my e-mail and try to respond right away.

Books flying off the shelves

Thanks to many of you who have been praying that the message of Church for Men would reach a wider audience. Thanks to a flurry of publicity, including a June 4 feature in the New York Times, my book, Why Men Hate Going to Church advanced into Amazon.com’s top 20 Christian titles last week. This is remarkable for a three-month-old book from a first-time author. It becomes clearer each day that God wants this message out.

Women, do the men you love hate going to church?

Under construction: a man-friendly church

Are you ready to take the summit?

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