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1 February 2006

www.churchformen.com

Let men use their gifts

Men are not spiritually lazy, as some have suggested. Men want to serve God. The problem is the modern church does not need men’s gifts, or holds them in contempt, equating them with sin! What if Mary had viewed the gifts of the wise men this way?

Wise man: Greetings! We bring you gifts from the East.

Mary: OK, whatcha got?

Wise man: Gold, frankincense and myrrh.

Mary: Phew! I’ll take the gold, but you can keep that smelly stuff.

This is how the church treats men. We love men’s gold, but we have no use for their smelly stuff. Competition? Goal orientation? Performance? Power? These things stink up the church!  I challenge you to answer this question: how might a man use these kinds of gifts in the local church? Your brain probably hurts just thinking about it.

Because the church does not need men’s gifts, they feel rejected. George Barna interviewed Al Perkins, a nominal churchgoer:

When you reject the things I stand for—excellence, strategic thinking, progress, efficiency, vision, controlled risks, bottom-line performance—you reject me. I used to take it personally, but I’ve minimized the anger by making my church involvement less of a priority.

John Gray (Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus) warns, “Not to be needed is slow death for a man.” You kill a man’s spirit when you reject his gifts. So how can we make men feel needed again?

·    Tell them! In The Lord of the Rings, Frodo stumbled many times on his journey to Mordor, but the words of Lady Galadriel kept him going: “This task was appointed to you, and if you do not find a way, no one will.” Men need to hear a similar message when they come to church: We need you desperately. God has a sacred role just for you, and if you do not do your part all is lost. Think of the men in your congregation. Do they know how important they are? Has anyone ever told them? Have the women of your church ever hosted a dinner for the men to let them know how needed they are?

·    Expand ministry into areas where men have expertise. Does your church offer any “male oriented” ministries? Why not work on cars? One Illinois church has an on-site auto repair facility for single mothers and the working poor. Even a small church can offer free oil changes in the church parking lot once a quarter. Use men’s talents and watch them get fired up.

·    Take an inventory of your own gifts, then think of creative ways to deploy them for God’s kingdom. Encourage others to do the same. Refuse to take a job you feel unqualified or uncalled to perform no matter how worthy the cause or urgent the need.

"Family Life Today" interviews air Feb. 22-24

The message of Church for Men will go out to some 3 million listeners February 22-24. David Murrow will be the featured guest on “Family Life Today” with Dennis Rainey and Bob Lepine. The trio recorded these programs back in November, and let me tell you, things got a little controversial. You won’t want to miss these shows.

Tell your unchurched male friends to listen to these programs. A lot of guys love talk radio, and there’s nothing “religious” about these three shows. We gore a few sacred cows, and shine a light on the huge gulf between men and the local church.

To find a Family Life radio station in your area, click here.

Courageous pastors stepping up

CFM is not yet one year old, but courageous pastors are already making man-friendly changes in their local congregations. We just received this letter from a pastor named Steve:

You have touched on so many issues that have hounded me for years. I experienced a lot of guilt because I didn't like the way things are done in today's church and I felt like a bad Christian for having those feelings.
 
You have put words to everything that I couldn't verbalize without being labled a trouble maker, rebellious, sexist or fleshly, which was terrribly frustrating for a man who wants to serve my God and King.
 
As a mission pastor, I had already made some changes before reading your book...like ditching all the candles and floral arrangements, etc. Your book has inspired me to forge agead, cutting loose more sacred cows.
 
It won't be easy...many eyebrows are already being raised. But our people, not just our men, are excited and ready for a change and real service. Thanks for saying what has needed to be said for a long, long time!

.

NCMM super conference registration opens

The National Coalition of Men's Ministries Spring Conference is now available for registration. If you have a heart to reach men, or are looking for a boost in your walk with God, come to Denver April 20-22.

I'll be one of the keynote speakers, along with H. B. London of Focus on the Family. You'll also choose from dozens of one-hour sessions led by the world's foremost experts on Men's Ministry. These guys know their stuff! Go back with armloads of free literature, books and resources to help you reach the men of your community with the Good News.

For more information on the conference, click here.

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